two can play that game, mother nature

tuesday = 60° and sunny. fabulous.

wednesday = 65° and rainy. i’ll take it.

heck i even busted out my OPEN TOE strappy heels yesterday (you know, those shoes where you can see your feetz)

see evidence: instagram @ashli_p

see evidence: instagram @ashli_p

i awoke this morning knowing very well of the drastic temperature drop that was to come today–thanks to my weather app that selfishly reminded me of the impending 22° doom. but mother nature, being the a-hole that she’s been this season, decided to kick it up a notch & gave us “what feels like” 8 DEGREE WEATHER. as in LESS than 10! whohowhuhwhyimsorryareyouhigh WHAT! NOT OK.

photo (2)

i strive to be someone who doesn’t let much get her down and i’ve always been a fan of winter, but it’s gone too far. HOWEVER, I AM STUBBORN! and i refuse to let some menopausal old lady in charge of life’s thermostat get me down.

so to lift my spirits while simultaneously stickin it to the wo-man, i have listed 6 reasons why i don’t care AT ALL that it feels frigid outside.

  1. ugg boots may look totally unappealing but my feetz are way happier nesting in a bed of fur and imagining its a rug in front of a fireplace than they are in open strappy heels that never fully give enough support for your pinky toe
  2. we are provided with juuuust a smidge more time to enjoy HOT coffee warming our hands before we have no choice but to drink iced coffee and consistently battle how cold it is and the perspiration that soaks your hands
  3. even though i’m sick of my winter wardrobe, i still enjoy layering versus the impossible decision of how to dress for the confusing days of summer: sweating walking to the train, freezing to death on the train, melting on the walk to the office carrying your literallyicecold coffee that drips down your arms, freezing again at your desk. i can’t.
  4. sorry bros, but for us gals, cold weather means less personal maintenance. weekly pedicures aren’t a must when our toesies aren’t consistently on parade in neon colors or buried in the sand for instagram pictures. oh right, and then there’s the [lack of] leg shaving thing.
  5. choosing a restaurant for brunch/dinner/butprobablybrunch proves to be muuuuuuch simpler when you and other manhattanites aren’t fighting over prime parking with outdoor seating. in the cold winter months, we just pick a spot we all agree on, whereas in the summer, there has to be a table outside in the sun and a reservation made 2 weeks in advance because eating inside is for peasants.
  6. summer days last much longer than winter which sounds all nice and fluffy but in reality, longer days = more accountability. it’s much easier to put off errands like dropping off your laundry when it’s only light out for 4 hours. you have noooo excuses in the summertime you lazy bums.

i just feel like mother nature is basically doing that thing kids do – where they put their finger as close to your face without touching it and it’s SO annoying. “they only keep doing it because they’re getting a rise out of you, just ignore them” says every parent ever [insert eye roll]. well mother nature gets exaaactly what she wants when we complain and whine and moan about our lack of springtime joy so i’m just cutting that out right meow. i am content with the cold Momma N.

now hopefully she will stop being such a b!%$# and metaphorically get her finger out of my face.

i mean, even if it was in the 50’s that would be better than “feels like 8″. for now, we remain stuck in a real-life version of Frozen, which i don’t mind terribly since i have a deep rooted love for Disney movies. if you haven’t seen it, it’s about a woman who freezes a city of–you know what, no. do yourself (and the world) a favor and just go watch it right now. it’s too cold to be outside anyway.

as always, you can keep up with other daily ramblings on twitter or instagram: @ashli_p

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